GOT COTTAGE CHEESE?

Every single morning I come into work, dump my purse and coat and head straight to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. There's always some sort of creamer- powdered, flavored, half and half, whatever. Well, we recently had a meeting which was catered. They brought whole milk to be used as creamer so I was using that. Apparently, the meeting wasn't as recent as I thought because this morning I realized that the milk expired 2 weeks ago. It was already in my coffee though, so I went ahead and drank it.

There's a story with this, too, but for now, meet Herman, my new office mascot:

His sign says "Help me find Shelly."

Also, a flashback incident that I forgot about until our Security Director brought it up yesterday... a few months back I had to get my eyes checked (regular check up). Now anyone who has known me for more than 2 minutes knows how grossed out I get when it comes to eyeballs. I can't watch people put contacts in. My freshman year, one of my roommates (I can't remember which one) had to literally sit on me to put drops in my eyes. It's not pretty.

So, I suffer through the exam (I pulled away like 8 times when they did the puff of air thing- my doctor was not amused). Then I had to get the drops that they use to dialate your pupils. That didn't go all that well and to make a long story short, I ended up with my doctor's nail marks in my face from her trying to pry my eyes open.

She sent me into the waiting room to wait for them to take effect. I called Brian and in the course of the next minute, because dizzy and pretty much passed out in the Target Optical Center. I'm not kidding. I was ON THE FLOOR. Brian had to come get me.